Shadow, 2021
Monday June 21, 2021. This Shakespearean Sonnet came 5 days before I wrote Luna. You can see how “shadow”, “sky”, “light” – the entire poem – was motivating Luna.
Shadow
The light of life shines bright on people’s days,
Soaks us in purpose, outlines figure’s grace.
You freely move, a shadow interplays
Behind it grows, and at a rapid pace.
And could it be, the self inside my head,
Subordinate to thoughtless daily crap;
Is not the shape, the master, but instead,
It is the shadow, caught in but a trap.
And will I ever find, discover peace?
For now I linger opposite of light,
And wordlessly spectate, there is no piece…
…for me to say. No line, blur with the night.
Detach from life, from light, from body… Fly!
A shadow free, a newborn in the sky.
Discussion
A degree of appreciated abstraction is a requisite to quickly reorient yourself to the world’s overwhelming projection. I got an opportunity to “put my money where my mouth is” 1000 days after writing Shadow and Luna. I spent a whole day being my own tether in the mountains. Entirely unsupported, decorticate posturing, bombarded by a solar storm. (Here.) This level of traumatic impact and neglect should be fatal. Instead, I was good enough to get sent home after 27 days in the trauma center. I stress, out of already lucky people who do get to awaken from a DAI 3, the lucky average does so in 2 months.
Here, I voiced my problem and the associated uncertainty. 5 days later, I attempted to resolve it, having no confidence in English and resorting to native Russian.
This is a broad and heavy poem. I leave its interpretation to the reader; Luna, essentially, is my interpretation of it.
I was 21.